Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found puke in my bra..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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