if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
