I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
