What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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