Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
