his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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