Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
