Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
