also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
