I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
