Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
