Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
