She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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