i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We got so high we made milksteak
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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