Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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