I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize