I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
