Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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