do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's never too late to be topless.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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