I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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