he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just found puke in my bra..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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