you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
