Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
