So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
