words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I FOUND THE LEGS
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
