I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
