I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
