The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
