God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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