Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
