You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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