I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
