I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I forget how to act sober
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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