You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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