so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
