hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is my gift to your gina
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
