I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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