real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize