I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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