i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
