their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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