I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
