they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
