I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
