so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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