Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
