i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
