I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
