somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
