dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
