I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
