I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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