I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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