Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
