well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
