Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
