He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
