its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
