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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
