I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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