is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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