You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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