you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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