He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
